Therapy for Men in Santa Rosa

Helping the independent man build satisfying relationships

 

Therapy for men who feel confused about relationships

Every time you try to develop a relationship, you end up confused and upset, and your partners feel disappointed and hurt. You wonder what you are missing.

You’re told you are defensive and guarded

It was fun at first, but then the criticisms and problems started. You start to doubt if this is the person you can trust and connect with.

Deep relationship conversations are unbearable. It’s like walking into the line of fire without any defenses because you have no clue what the other side is going to bring out to attack you. Then you get accused of being defensive, pulling away, and stonewalling.

Isolated and lonely man sitting on window edge looking at skyline and desiring a satisfying relationship
Man holding his hands over his face in frustration, a woman yelling at him in the background

Your intentions are misunderstood

It’s not that you don’t care about their feelings, quite the opposite! You care a ton, but it always feels like you say the wrong thing and hurt them anyway.  

You try to do all the things to make them happy and you want to be a good partner, but it’s confusing why they say that’s not enough, and they want more of your time, more connection, and emotional intimacy.

You need alone time

You’ve always been the lone wolf, but people get offended when you tell them you need space.

You want relief from all the pressure you feel from your partner’s expectations, needs, and demands.

You wonder what you are missing

But you can’t help but wonder if you’re missing something because this happens every time.

Life feels empty and alone. You want to figure yourself out so that you can start feeling better about all this.

 

Learn to open up, connect, and show love.

All while taking care of yourself, your needs, and trust you will be treated fairly.

Man with his arm around a woman walking down road in Sonoma County
Couple embracing after men's therapy and counseling session finding connection with one another
Man and woman hugging on a bed and sharing emotional intimacy with one another
 

 In-Person Therapy in Santa Rosa, Sonoma County, California for Men

 
 

Angela Sitka, MA, LMFT, licensed psychotherapist specializing in therapy for men

Expert Guidance for Men's Relationship Concerns

I’m Angela Sitka, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in working with men. I can help you uncover the mystery of developing and maintaining healthy relationships.

You are self-sufficient, go-getter, problem-solver.

These are the skills that led you to success in many areas of your life.

But these are not the same skill sets that foster deep, connected long-lasting relationships.

If this is what is missing for you, I can help.

I have over 10 years of experience as a licensed therapist and have helped many men find their self-confidence in developing relationships where they can be their best selves, and I can help you too.

How does therapy help me improve my relationships?

Skill-building: Emotional Intelligence and Communication

  • Assess risk levels in trusting others when opening up and being vulnerable.

  • Identify your feelings and needs. Anticipate and accurately identify your partner’s feelings and needs.

  • Communicate clearly and feel competent when navigating conflicts, problems, and uncomfortable topics.

  • Learn how to cope with your relational triggers (for example: your partner’s complaints, crying, clinging, commitment talk, etc.)

Creating Lasting Change: Practice and Get Feedback

My clients often report one of the most helpful aspects of their psychotherapy sessions with me is the specific feedback I provide. I will likely ask you some questions to get you to analyze your words and behaviors from other perspectives or get more insight into the root of your intentions.

There are times when I might point out how your words or behaviors could be perceived by others. I am mindful to be gentle and sensitive when giving feedback, and we discuss how you’d like this to be delivered to you. I might model for you different ways to say things or different approaches to consider.

Overcoming Self-Doubt, Fear, and Insecurities

Most of us have deep-rooted insecurities, fears, and doubts that cause us to react in a manner that feels self-protective. Even when we know what we are doing is not helping the situation, we do it anyway.

Why? Our brains have evolved to be risk-averse and try to keep us from feeling pain and being hurt- both physical and emotional.

Lots of our relational patterns develop in childhood and sometimes traumatic life events such as significant losses, injury, accidents, and past toxic relationships can impact the ways we interact with others.

This is where my background and training in clinical mental health and psychology come in. Some of the tools I teach to clients when difficult thoughts and feelings come up around relationships stem from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). It’s action-oriented, meaning we want to get you moving toward doing and practicing the things that will elicit long-lasting positive change in your life.

  • The thing with relationship problems is that they often require us to learn, practice, and develop relationship skills within a relationship.

    Therapy is what provides the structure for this type of personal development. A therapeutic relationship (one between a therapist and a client) is the way to get deep, lasting change that you just can’t get from listening to a podcast, reading a book or doing an online program.

  • I am a clinically trained and licensed psychotherapist, meaning I have advanced degrees in psychology and clinical mental health. I have completed clinical internships, passed state licensing exams, and been a practicing therapist for over 10 years.

    What I provide for my clients is not a cookie-cutter curriculum or scripts of what to say to get what you want. This is much deeper than that. It requires us to look into your personal and unique psychology so you can navigate all kinds of relational situations without relying on rigid rules or tricks.

    It’s learning how to do relationships in a way that is authentic to you.

    If you’d like to know more about me, check out my about page.

  • Yes. I work with men in all stages of life and relationships, including after divorce and breakups, in complicated relationship situations, trying to save a marriage, men who have never been in a relationship or questioning if they want a relationship at all.

    Relationship skills also help with business relationships (networking, asserting yourself at work, sales, etc.) building and maintaining friendships and family relationships.

 

Get Connected with a Therapist specializing in the Independent Man’s Relationship Issues

You’ve already tried fixing it on your own, and if your problems had easy solutions, you would have found them already. If you are ready to get your life back on track and build satisfying relationships, call me for a free 15-minute phone consultation.

My online schedule is available to book at your convenience.

Angela Sitka, LMFT, licensed psychotherapist in Santa Rosa